Day 108

#np - 2011 United States of Pop by DJ Earworm

The CATS play Louisville today.  First big test since IU.  A win would be a great way to end this great year of basketball.

Happy New Years Eve!

Day 107

#np - Wagon Wheel by Old Crow Medicine Show

It just makes me rock back and forth.  :)

Day 106

#np - Next Best Thing by Nikki and Rich

Well, this is it.  I've fallen in love. 

No no, not what you're thinking.  Books!  I've fallen in love with books.  Or my Kindle, I guess because it gives me all the books I could want (read: pay for) in under 60 seconds.  With grad school and the general busyness/laziness of my life, I've let my fun reading list fall by the wayside.  While I should have spent the holiday break applying for jobs or developing my capstone, I've been reading.  

If you're a book lover, you understand.  Sometimes you just cannot put a book down.  You're lost in a world that the book and your mind creates.  You come to accept the fact that you simply won't get any work done.  That you can do without the sleep.  That figuring out if you're Team Peeta or Team Gale is as important as Christmas shopping.  And knowing the Watkins' secret is better than Flamingo Row (and if you know me, you know that nothing is better than the Row).  

So, I find myself both needing book suggestions and having a few suggestions for you.  I'll admit, I didn't read enough in middle and high school and am now emotionally/literaturely-stunted and therefore mostly enjoy Young Adult fiction.  

First, I read the Hunger Games trilogy in about 5 days.  Can I be a BAMF like Katniss Everdeen?  Can I have Peeta (and/or Gale, lets be real) for myself.  Do Peetas exist?  I'm not so sure but this book has ignited my love for the dystopian genre.  Love in the midst of a seemingly-perfect world?  Flagrant social injustice threatening to destroy the fabric of a nation? Sign me up.

Second, I bought Flat-Out Love on Amazon for a shockingly low price.  I struggled at first with the purchase.  The reviews of the book were outstanding (and luckily, gave nothing away) but that can be a big red flag.  So I took advantage of Amazon's sample feature and read the first chapter or so.  Honestly, I was hooked from the license notes where the author threatens bodily harm by way of an ammonia-soaked nerd tee beating.  If your AN can make me laugh out loud then that's something indeed.  Jessica Park, we would probably be best friends.  Although I cannot share your love for coffee.  

I recommend all of these books.  You can get the entire trilogy on your Kindle for less than $20 if you buy it as a set.  DO IT.  FOL is wonderful and inexpensive but don't let that fool you.  It's a quality read.  

Let me know if you have suggestions.  I'm counting on the Amazon reviewers for recommendations but their reviews often include spoilers which I cannot stand.  Perhaps I'm completely hypocritical considering I'll take a TV spoiler any day (I need the gossip on GLEE!) but a book is sacred and therefore should not be spoiled.  

Go on, get off the internet and read a book.  Let your imagination take you away.  You weren't watching the republicans square off in Iowa anyway, right?  Right???  Yeah, me either.

Day 105

#np - It's My Life by Bon Jovi

I just wanna live while I'm alive!

Day 104

#np - Good Vibrations by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch

Feel it, feel it!

Day 103

#np - Home Sweet Home by Carrie Underwood

Today the family heads home.  Last year, December 26th started a nasty case of the post-holiday blues for me.  That's because there was a week-long gap between my family leaving Lexington (Jon for Chicago and my parents for Paducah) and my friends returning.  This year, however, I'm on my way to Paducah to see Becky and Emily before returning to LEX for the UK/Louisville basketball game on New Years Eve.  It's a busy time!

That means I get all my favorite restaurants from home during the holidays, too!  SO HAPPY.

Day 102

#np - I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas by Gayla Peevey

It's my favorite Christmas song!  Sorry that the video is paused at the hippo's butt. 

Happy Holidays!

Day 101

#np - All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey

Come on, you knew it was coming.

Merry Christmas Eve!  We're celebrating in Lexington!!!

ALSO, if you miscontrued yesterday's post as sad, I didn't intend it that way.  I'm actually happy with taking the "long way around" but it is harder around the holidays.  That being said, I wouldn't trade any part of the path I've chosen.  And I think I'll keep taking this way.  :)

Day 100

#np - The Long Way Around by the Dixie Chicks

Christmastime is the easiest time to get depressed about being single.  Seriously, sometimes the holiday cheer makes me want to vomit.  And when you get back to life there's inevitably a friend or two that announces they've gotten engaged or impregnated over the holiday.  

So yeah, my mind goes there sometimes.  Where would I be if I hadn't taken this path.  The long way.  

I graduate in less than 5 months.  Then I'll be back on my own and the pressure to settle down will increase.  But I'm not sure I'm ready to give up the long way.  Or maybe I'm not ready to acknowledge that I will be on the other path.  The one that's earnestly looking for a partner and thinking about a ticking biological clock.  

Twenty-nine years and 100 days isn't too late to keep taking the long way, is it?

Day 99

#np - Proud Mary by Credence Clearwater Revival

Day 98

#np - Poker Face by Lady Gaga

Jury Duty orientation today.  Put your poker faces on.

Also, Mom and Poppy get here today.  I love my family.

Day 97

#np - She Loves Everybody by Chester French

Day 96

#np - If It Makes You Happy by Sheryl Crow

Sleeping in will make me happy this week. :)

Day 95

#np - Wild at Heart by Gloriana

I ain't here to do anything half way, don't give a damn what anyone might say. I just wanna free fall for a while...

At least for 3 weeks while I'm ON BREAK!

Day 94

#np - Hips Don't Lie by Shakira

Finals are over!!!!!!!!!  Shake those hips, girl.  

Finally I can stop talking about them. I've been annoying myself.

Day 93

#np - Suddenly I See by KT Tunstall

I'm up "early" and ready to cram since I really didn't study after our study session yesterday.  Today is my last final!  I feel like I'm Andie in Devil Wears Prada where she's walking nervously to her interview with her onion bagel.  And I don't even like onion bagels.  Let's hope I walk out of the final like Andie-post-makeover-I'm-awesome-in-these-chanel-boots.  A girl can dream.

On another note, I'm so frantic to know my final grade that I downloaded theUKMobile app so I can check it on my phone.  I wish it would notify me as grades come in.

I need to get a life.

Day 92

#np - Take Me or Leave Me by Idina Menzel and Tracie Thoms

This diva needs her stage.  (My motto, from time to time.)

2 days.  

And thank goodness because my body can't take the extremes of finals anymore.  I'm completely sleep deprived in a way that has my days and nights kind of mixed up.  My body is also rejecting junk food and greasy food now that I've hit my annual limit (probably for 2012, too).  I actually bought pre-cut, 30 calories packs of apples last night (after going into Krogetto for pre-made chex puppy chow which was a bust) because I just had to have something not completely bad for me.  You know it's getting ready when I voluntarily buy prepackaged fruit.

Day 91

#np - Bulletproof

My first final is today.  I need a good dance to get started.

Day 90

#np - You Can't Always Get What You Want by the Rolling Stones

Wise words for anyone taking finals this week. 

Day 89

#np - Mercy by Duffy

Release me!

5 days.

Day 88

#np - Devil Went Down To Georgia by the Charlie Daniels Band

In six days I'll be on winter break.  Thank goodness.  I just have to hold out a little longer.  School kicked my butt this semester. In the meantime, there will be NO selling of my soul for good final grades or job offers.  *rinse and repeat*

Day 87

#np - Rock Your Body by Justin Timberlake

Give it a whirl.

Day 86

#np - Jailhouse Rock by Elvis Presley

I get it. ;)

Day 85

#np - Glycerine by Bush

Gwen Stefani and No Doubt were featured last week so it's only right that Gwen's HOT husband, Gavin Rossdale and his band, Bush, be on the blog.  It's a slower rock song but oh so wonderful.

Day 84

#np - You Can't Stop The Beat by the Glee Cast

You can't stop this.

Also, I thought last night's Glee was fantastic.  

Day 83

"Hate doesn't win until love no longer has a voice." ~Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

#np - Beautiful by Christina Aguilera

The other day my friend, Karyn, posted a link to an article written by Dan Pearce of Single Dad Laughing. Dan writes a Christian blog and his topic a couple of weeks ago about being a Christian except when faced with someone who is gay.  He talks of people walking with Christ except when confronted by obvious sinners.  When faced with these obvious sinners, some Christians (not all as I know MANY who love unconditionally) take it upon themselves to judge and hate these brethren.

I struggle with faith.  I have for a long time.  Some of my struggle stems from a time when my brother came out to me.  I suddenly couldn't reconcile a loving God with one who hates homosexuals.  And so, because my brother is quite simply the light of my life, I chose to love him unconditionally.  And in that, my faith has wavered.  Perhaps not from God but definitely from church.  And that's why I found this blog post to be so moving.  Here was a man, a single father, a Christian, explaining that God said to "love one another." Period.  Dan also posted a few of the responses he received from the comments section of the post.  Two are absolutely heartbreaking.  The intolerance in their vitriol would be unbelievable if it weren't so prevalent in society.  But the last five responses were those of hope and love.  The exact teachings of Christ and God.

This blog hasn't made me want to go back to church.  But it has renewed my faith in people.  We all have things we feel insecure about.  For example, my weight has always been an area of deep insecurity for me but even that's not the same as being judged for being gay - as if something is wrong with you even though you're being exactly who you are.  And to think that my brother, an absolute wonder to our family, could be walking around with this hatred on his back...well, that is unacceptable.  It's unacceptable for him and others like him, gay or not, to feel the hatred of others.  

Allow me to take this opportunity to let everyone know that I love you.  There are lots of movements like "It Gets Better" or organizations like The Trevor Project aimed at showing acceptance and love.  But I'm not sure the message is getting out there enough.  I love you and I celebrate you, just as you are.

Day 82

#np - Shake It Out by Florence and the Machine

Final paper and presentation due tonight.  Running on a pretty significant lack of sleep.  As long as my body still has some energy, I need to shake this out.  And on a bright side, this is the second-to-last Monday of this semester!  Then I get the next five off COMPLETELY!

Day 81

#np - Baggage Claim by Miranda Lambert

Angry country girl rock for a day that I'm going to spent doing homework ALL DAY.  Especially after my flash drive stopped working last night.  Not cool.  Just two weeks left until my three week vacation.

At least the WILDCATS won yesterday.  I had a wonderful time at the game with my Dad and my throat still hurts from yelling so much. 

Day 80

#np - Turn the Beat Around by Gloria Estefan

Full belly laughs.  Last night I had a conversation with my Mom about full belly laughs.  The ones where you laugh loudly and with gusto.  You clutch your side and gasp for breath.  The kind that clearly show you're enjoying the crap out of life.

I personally don't believe in the polite chuckle (or the Heavy Breath Chuckle - HBC - as I named it with Cole).  You know the little one that people do when loud laughs are kind of inappropriate (if there ever is such a time).  

Well, count me out.  If I find something funny, I'm going to laugh my big, loud, full belly laugh...right up until I get kicked out of wherever I am.  But at least you'll know I'm having fun.  Because at any moment something could take me from this world.  

And I'd rather be remembered for full belly laughs.

So let's all remember to LOL.

Day 79

#np -  Already Gone by The Eagles

I have a professor that scheduled an extra class session this week...on Friday...at 3:30 in the afternoon.  So, that kind of stinks.  But at least it requires me to get out and be productive.  This week was bad but next week is worse.  Is this where I say "I'm getting too old for this"?

Day 78

"Don't go looking for a fight but if you're in a fight, and it's the right fight, fight until you win, if only for yourself."
~Dorothy Howell Rodham

#np - Sing by My Chemical Romance

Fourteen years ago my life changed in a second.  It's hard to explain to people who haven't experienced something similar.  Fourteen years ago, a boy I went to high school with brought a gun to school.  He brought it to school and he shot people.  Even today, it's almost surreal.  Almost.  Almost because I remember the sounds and smells.  I remember the yells and the people.  It's both vivid and blurry.  That doesn't even make sense but it's the only way to describe it.  A haze of emotions and images with punctuated moments of complete clarity.

There are days where I wish I could forget.  I wish that simple things didn't remind me of that day.  I wish that when I tell people where I went to high school that they didn't inadvertently say "Hey, isn't that where the school shooting was?"  It isn't their fault.  It's natural curiosity and I'm usually okay to talk about it.  And when I get really down and start to ask why, I remember her.  I choose not to forget.

I had this friend in high school who wanted to be a police officer.  She was a beautiful girl and she already knew what she wanted to be when she grew up.  She wanted to help people.  She wanted to do something with her life that would make a difference in the lives of others.  But she isn't here.  She can't help people now.

To this day I wonder why things turned out like they did.  Why her?  She was going to help people.  I've struggled my entire life with what I want to be when I grow up. And now I'm approaching 30 years old, twice the age she was when she died, and I've finally figured out that I want to help people too.

I suppose it could be seen as some twisted tribute to her.  I've finally figured out what I can do and I'm feeling more peace than I ever have.  Kayce, you've been my inspiration for 14 years.  Thank you for being an incredible example.  I hope I make you proud.