Day 290

#np - Oh, Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison

Today we're celebrating my grandmother's 80th birthday in Austin.  It's going to be a wonderful day!  

Day 289

#np - All My Exes Live In Texas by George Strait

Yesterday I ate a fried chicken taco (called the Trashy Trailer Park taco) from a food truck.  Then we went to another food truck and I ate a dessert doughnut called the dirty berry that was covered in chocolate and grilled strawberries.  I probably don't need to eat for a few days.  But I will.  And I'm not ashamed.

I also got to tour UT Austin which is a beautiful campus.  Everyone here is really nice.  They may all be republicans but they are nice! (I did see one Obama 2012 sticker though - yay!)

Day 288

#np - Everybody Hurts by R.E.M.

Nora Ephron died two days ago.  And last night I almost purchased When Harry Met Sally on iTunes even though I own the movie (but I didn't because the iTunes version doesn't include the original songs - they're replaced with elevator music, apparently).  I don't really know what to say except that I was a huge Ephron fan and I'm sad that we won't read her words and watch her movies any longer.  She taught us about life and love and she reminded us not to take either too seriously.  

Her female characters weren't cupcakes and she didn't just write about romantic relationships.  One of the most powerful movie relationships she wrote was between Annie and Becky in Sleepless in Seattle.  Their comfort with each other and the "I love you" at the end of their phone conversation showed the strength of their friendship.  Ephron also gave us a man like Harry who loved Sally because of who she was, not in spite of it.  I love it.  I love the characters.  I love her.

She was a feminist and she believed in love.  I strive to be a little like her.  Funny, smart, strong, and hopeful.

Day 287

#np - Good Time by Owl City and Carly Rae Jepsen

Day 286

#np - Wiggle It by 2 In a Room

Thanks to my new examiner friends for this being in my head all night last night.  Our dinner at the Hula Hut in Austin was yummy and fun!

Day 285

#np - Sister Christian by Night Ranger

It's really hot in Austin.  Like over-100-degrees-everyday-hot.  

Day 284

#np - Learn Me Right by Birdy and Mumford & Sons

I really want to see the new Pixar movie, Brave.  Watch the trailer for it.  Disney princess are no longer helpless victims.  They defend their own honor.  I love it.  I hope the movie lives up to my expectations which are quite high after movies like Monsters, Inc and Finding Nemo.  Perhaps I'll see it while I'm in Austin.  I don't get the feeling that the other examiners will be particularly social and the same sterile hotel room will get old after a couple of evenings.  Time to figure out if there's a movie theater within walking distance of my hotel!

Day 283

#np - Taking Chances by Celine Dion

I recently read an article detailing how women can't have it all.  It speaks of a claim women have made for years - We can have it all! - referencing a successful professional life (that we want at the highest level we desire) and a fulfilling family or personal life.  Now, let me tell you, I'm a realist when it comes to this. I know you can't have it all.  Life is about making sacrifices, some big and some small, to get the most fulfilling life you can.  I also realize that that claim was directed at white, upper-middle class, women who don't necessarily fret over putting food on the table.  I understand the author in so many of the points she makes.

That being said, one point/recommendation is sticking with me.  It's irking me.  She talks of her decision to wait until she was professionally successful to have children.  At 35 years old she starting trying to get pregnant and it was a long struggle until her successful pregnancies at 38 and 40.  She advises, in her article, to wait to have children but still do so by 35 and if you can't/won't/etc, have your eggs frozen.

So here I am, approaching 30 years old.  I'm generally satisfied with my life.  I really like my new job.  I am proud of my education.  I'm proud of my life choices.  And yet this woman now has me wondering if I should have my eggs frozen.

Shit.

I mean really!

How much does that even cost?  Is this something they do in Kentucky? Is it like a storage unit where I have to pay a monthly fee or they put my crap on the street? I understand where she's coming from.  I do.  I can sympathize, although not relate, with her struggle to have children.  But did she need to perpetuate this fear; not of not having it all but rather of not having any of it?  I suppose she's being realistic but she's set me into a tailspin.  Following her timeline, so I can have the family I want to have, I need to be married and pregnant within five years.  FIVE!

Five.

Today is day 283 to 30 years old.  I'm considering googling "costs of freezing your eggs".  Because lets face it, I don't know if I will want children at 35 years old.  And I don't know if I'll be married by then.  I think my track record is clear on not settling on a partner just to advance this part of my life.  I'm not willing to force this to fulfill the basic need I feel to be a mother.  And in the meantime I'm happy concentrating on my career and my family and friends.  But does that mean I need to freeze my eggs to keep my options open?  And when I can't afford it, as I most assuredly won't be able to, what then?

I can imagine my parents' reactions to this post.  They will likely have words of encouragement and slight admonishments for letting this get under my skin.  They will tell me that there's no need to rush things.  Others will tell me their own stories and personal tidbits. Stories about how they didn't struggle and gave birth (healthily) at 45.  I'll be told to wait.  Have fun.  Enjoy this time.

But my refridgerator is overflowing with the pictures of my friends' beautiful newborn babies.  Lovely babies born before their moms turned 30...let alone the dreaded 35!  Perhaps I should freeze my eggs and have the docs take a picture of the tubes (petri dishes, I don't know how this works, people!) and I can put that on the fridge, too.  

I wouldn't say this is my biological clock ticking.  (Honestly, Mom.)  But I would say thanks a lot (sarcastically) to the lady that recommended this.  Because on top of everything else a young woman of 29 years and 283 days worries about, freezing her eggs (and figuring out if how to pay for it) just made the list (well almost, I'm not 30 yet).

Day 282

#np - Rhythm Nation by Janet Jackson

Day 281

#np - Baby, Baby by Amy Grant

Another song I used to "perform" in front of my bedroom mirror with a hairbrush for a microphone. I killed it.

Day 280

#np - The Story by Brandi Carlile

This song is in a movie I'm familiar with but I can't remember which one.  I remember it though because it's hauntingly beautiful.  It's slower so perhaps not great for a wake up song but it's blog and I do what I want.

Day 279

#np - 5-1-5-0 by Dierks Bentley

Day 278

#np - Come Sail Away by Styx

Some songs just remind you of the past.  This one reminds me of a friend who was a huge Styx fan.  He was on summer staff with me.  That summer was amazing.  It's hard to compare that summer to this one because the circumstances are so different.  I do miss those times though.  However, I do enjoy this adult paycheck.  :)

Speaking of my new paycheck, I'm know I'm going to love this new job.  The work, the traveling, everything.  But it feels good to be home.  There's something so familiar about your own bed, your dog curled up on your shoulder, regular food in your cabinets.  This week I'm home in Louisville and then next week I'll be in Austin for the work week as well as for the weekend for my Grandmother's 80th birthday.  That just happened to work out perfectly.  All I had to do was ask if I could extend the dates of my trip which was no problem.  This week I'll be focusing on doing my laundry and then repacking as well as keeping my apartment clean.  It sucks to come home to a dirty place so that will be one of my goals.  I think this job is all about routines.  That, I can do.

Day 277

#np - Listen to the Music by The Doobie Brothers

Somewhere in my 30 year journey, I became a daddy's girl.  Poppy and I have always had a special relationship.  He is a calming presence in my life and he has the ability to put things into perfect perspective for me.  Along the way I discovered that my father is hilarious.  We used to joke in my family that when I went off to college, he would need a laugh track from me so that he still had a receptive audience.  Even today, I still find all of his jokes hilarious.

I've also found, as I've grown up, that my father is someone I can always count on.  He's been a great cheerleader my entire life.  He's someone I can go to for advice.  He always gives me the truth.  It's wonderful to have a person in your life who is like this.  I cannot imagine growing up without him.  I wouldn't be the woman I am without his love and support.  I don't say it enough but it's true, my father is amazing.

Happy Fathers Day, Poppy!  You are so wonderful to Jon and I .  We are lucky to have you.  

Day 276

#np - Peaceful Easy Feeling by The Eagles

It's Father's Day weekend!  I can't be home to celebrate my dad, which makes me very sad.  All I can do now is post songs by some of his favorite bands.  Luckily, I get to see him in two weeks when we celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday in Austin.  So much celebrating to do!!!

Day 275

#np - Tainted Love by Soft Cell

I should be back to Louisville by 2pm today.  After seeing Barkley, I think I'll need a really good grocery visit.  I suspect a week of eating out, while all part of my per diem, will have wreaked havoc on my body.

Day 274

#np - Come On Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners

Today is our last day at the licensee.  Then I'll head back to Louisville tomorrow.  Since I'm writing this post five days in advance, I have no idea how it's going.  Let's hope this has been a good experience!

Day 273

#np - Voices Carry by 'Til Tuesday

I'm going to be honest, I had know idea the lyrics were "voices carry" until I say this song listed on iTunes list of best 80s one hit wonders.  I thought the line was "this is scary." Whoops.

Day 272

#np - Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Chose this song because I've been watching a lot of episodes of Friends lately and recently saw one where Ross and Rachel fight over a t-shirt that belongs to him but that she loves to sleep in.  On the front it says "Frankie says to relax." I may need this advice for my second day at the licensee.

Day 271

#np - We're Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister

Day 270

#np - Kerosene by Miranda Lambert

In addition to writing today's post, I'm choosing songs for the next week as well.  While I'm IN DC I won't have access to my personal computer.  I don't want blogger coming up on my state laptop internet report so I will choose the songs now and then listen to them on my phone.  The blogger app isn't great for creating posts on the iphone though so you won't get much this week.  Just enjoy the music!  I'll report back on the fun things I did while also working in the nation's capital.  Have a great week!

Day 269

#np - Who Let the Dogs Out by the Baha Men

Barkley made a new friend on our walk this morning!  A little Schnoodle puppy (9 months!) named Neiko.  I'm beginning to think he either only likes big dogs or he just thinks he's better than any other dogs.  He went straight to Robin (Neiko's mom) instead of smelling Neiko's butt and romping around.  I basically forced the interaction. There was no barking or anything, just disinterest.  That's my dog.

Day 268

#np - Born to Hand Jive by Sha-Na-Na

Got to go to another fantastic, local Louisville restaurant last night!  My Canadian friend, Sumeeta, was in town for a wedding and she met me and a mutual friend, Molly, for dinner at Garage Bar.  It's a restaurant and bar in NuLu that I'd seen when Brian and I ate at Harvest.  It's a cool looking place in an old auto mechanic shop.  They specialize in brick oven pizzas.  YUM!  It was a great evening of catching up with old friends who I've missed terribly.  

Day 267

#np - Crocodile Rock by Elton John

Day 266

#np - Small Town by John Mellencamp

Day 265

#np - Walk Like A Man by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons

The office I work in is a field office for the state located in Louisville.  It houses a lot of employees that travel a lot and subsequently, I haven't seen many of the people that have actual offices there.  Most of the people in the office are men, too (finance is predominately a male profession).  Luckily I'm not plagued with bathroom humor or sexist comments.  But when trying to figure out today's song, I wanted a classic and this just seemed to fit.  There isn't any pressure to be a part of a "boy's club" but I do want to fit in.  I guess I'll leave the glitter at home for now until I'm off probation.

Day 264

#np - Kickstart My Heart by Motley Crue

Needed a big song to get me going today.  Happy Monday!

Day 263

#np - Mayberry by Rascal Flatts

It has been wonderful having my parents in town this weekend.  My dad got to see my new Louisville apartment and we all got to go to a Louisville Bats baseball game.  It's so nice to be with people who you're completely comfortable with.  I will miss them when they leave this afternoon.

Day 262

#np - Take Me Out To The Ballgame by Edward Meeker

Today, my parents are in Louisville and we're headed to the Louisville Bats/Durham Bulls baseball game this afternoon.  The American Red Cross in Kentucky is hosting the staffs and volunteers (and their families) of all their chapters in the state at the game.  Since my mom is VOLUNTEER OF THE YEAR at the ARC Paducah Disaster Center, we just have to go.  Free tickets, free food, free fun.  It should be a great time!

Day 261

#np - The Hardest Thing by 98 Degrees

Another boy band I forgot about!  How could I have forgotten the Lachey brothers?  I definitely wore this CD out in high school.  I'm pretty sure it stayed in my Discman for all of my junior year.  I've always had really great taste in music.